Fairy Dust, Fish, and Facades

Before I was tall enough to reach the kitchen cabinets over my head, I sat on the hump in the back seat of my grandparents yellow Buick on summer road trips. My bare legs stuck to the white vinyl bench seat and I asked if we were almost there yet, every half hour. I couldn’t wait to get to the place of fairy dust, where my life transformed into an imagined tale.

We joined my Aunt and Uncle Brock and their granddaughter Tracy, for a week on the Lake of the Ozarks every summer. Our neighboring rooms with squeaky screen doors and rusty water at the first turn of the faucet nestled deep in the woods. I slept on the pullout couch in the living room, arms touching the kitchen sink, feet at the front door.

On sunny days, I stood next to my grandpa on a dock, threading worms on hooks, learning how to cast and reel the bluegill he cooked for dinner. He spent most of his time pulling floppy fish off my hook while laughing about how fast I caught them.

Even though I salivated just thinking about summer’s first bite of flaky white fish battered cornmeal, I felt compassion over the fate of those fish swimming in that wire basket. I made up all kinds of stories in my head about fishy conversation happening among them below the water line.

When I wasn’t fishing, I swam in the lake with my cousin Tracy. Afterward we held dollar bills in our wrinkly fingers, walked to the property store to buy candy. The trailor with the air conditioner propped up in the window. Sandy, the owner’s retriever with the white furry mask stalked close behind, hoping for a stray tootsie roll.

As we both stretched out of adolescence, they moved the vacation to a more alluring motel. A place complete with a pool slide, television, and restaurant.  The charm of fishing off the dock, cooking our own meals, swimming in the lake and buying a bag full of candy with a dollar became like postcards laying in a drawer. And that’s when I found out.

The auburn headed, lanky girl that I idolized, she wasn’t really my cousin. Not even a family member. She lived next door to my childless aunt and uncle. They treated her as their own for as long as she lived in their neighborhood.

And even though Tracy called them Grandma and Grandpa and remained the same person with whom I shared my adolescent angst, my heart sank the day I found out. My first lesson in, things aren’t always as they seem.

Have you ever discovered something that cracked the shell off your perception, surprised by reality?

My disappointment wasn’t as much about the reality of the truth as my ideal of it. It’s something I’ve grappled with most of my life, the disparity between reality and perception.

But Jesus isn’t an ideal; he is the truth.  And there’s false hope in thinking only those things we can understand are truly knowable.

Because when our perception shatters it doesn’t always mean we must abandon the reality. Sometimes He gives new glasses for tired eyes, to see with panoramic clarity.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.  “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” Isaiah 55:8

And the truth? I did travel to a place of fairy dust in my childhood, and Tracy not being my cousin, it doesn’t change that fact. The story just turned out differently than I imagined.

 Linking with God Bumps and God Incidences, WLWW, Walk with Him Wednesday, Life in Bloom, Thought Provoking Thursday.

When My Perception Isn’t Your Reality

I’m joining Amber and Seth Haines in the Mothers Letters project. You can write a letter too and join the link-up party here.

Dear Mother, purveyor of lives that radiate the holy mystery in small frames of dust imprinted on kitchen counters, on sticky floors, in unmade beds,

I’m writing to tell you that perception and reality are two separate bridges running tandem in your  mind. That both bridges access truth, but the bridge of your own perception makes the journey to truth long and arduous. Choose reality.

When you watch other mothers stand in line for soccer sign-up and your child doesn’t find joy in kicking a ball around a field, it doesn’t mean that your child is somehow less of a little person because he doesn’t fit in to the perceived ideal of childhood. It probably means God didn’t instill passion in him for a ball the same way he did for those other kids and that’s good. Because God makes children in His own image. Not the image of the neighbor kids.

When your kids aren’t asking for play dates and prefer to be at home with you, it doesn’t mean they are anti-social or rejects. It means that God didn’t create them with the same intrinsic need to extrovert as others.  That wisdom doesn’t only come to the aged, but early too, regarding friendships and good choices about healthy environments. Because He gives wisdom to those who ask and wisdom doesn’t look like following the crowd in order to be accepted. Wisdom lives for an audience of one, not the audience of the school, church, or parent/teacher association.

When you stand in the spotless kitchen of friends with older kids who do chores, have quiet times, and take mission trips without prodding, it doesn’t mean those friends are better at parenting. It means that the lives of our children are stories written by Him, each with separate chapter and verse, their name as the title on the spine. That you, not what you do, are a vital part of their storyline to lead them to Christ and make good choices. It’s why He decided to make you a mother.

Because some day, your son will declare on Facebook, how awesome it was to be at church and when a friend asks him why, he’ll say it’s because he learns about God. And you’ll realize that most of communicating Christ has to do with the silence of living that shouts who He is, not what you do.

When your daughter is old enough, she’ll wake herself up and drive herself to church when everyone else sleeps. You’ll realize that heart transformation isn’t about how spiritual, organized, creative and tidy your mothering skills resound. It’s all about grace and the way she weaves herself into the cells and sinews of life when you weren’t noticing.

Perception is sometimes like the foggy mirror in someone else’s bathroom.  She thinks the reflection of you should look like the one who lives there. Reality is what you see when you wipe the steamy mess of life off the surface. And truth, it’s the smile of God looking back at you in the mirror. His reflected image loving you just the way you are.

The mother He created you to be. Uniquely, wonderful you.

Linking with God Bumps, Imperfect Prose, Walk with Him Wednesday, WLWW, Word Filled Wednesday.